Arby's Still Has the Meats and We Still Have that Good Love Thing

Today, 9 years after I said, "I do," and my wife responded in kind (after I thanked her for coming), I find myself thinking of all of the things that happened that wedding day in August of 2009.

Many people spend a lot on weddings, and they don’t always get what they pay for, especially a lot of young people ponying up for 5+ figure weddings. Not that the fear of divorce is a reason not to have a great day, but what's more important? A wedding day or a home together?

We didn’t have one of those weddings. Ours was as the Toledo Botanical Gardens in Ohio. That reception was at her sister’s house. We had another reception in Pennsylvania for my family at a picnic grove. That said, it was an awesome pair of days that were incredibly special, though I wish I rode in on an elephant like Katy Perry.

A lot of couples fight over what will be happening in the wedding. In the end, I gave all but a few choices to my wife. When we chose our venue, I chose a botanical garden over a stately mansion because my wife loves flowers. We couldn’t see that much of it in the snow when we reserved it, but it was the right choice for the end of summer. 

I also got to choose the music. I took Heather’s choices into consideration. You can see the songs listed below. I think I did pretty well balancing out for all things. Not one of the songs is by Slayer or Einsturzende Neubauten. 

Originally, I wanted to get married in a bowtie (to look like Indiana Jones), but I did that for the rehearsal after my wife's proposed changes. With that, my wife picked out the pink shirt and pink + blue tie to go with the charcoal gray suit I went with.

I wrote the story of how we got married for the pastor. With me being a wordy guy, he cut it down for time. Otherwise, it would have been a way too long and hot day (It was a hot day). For a person who was in the process of transitioning into Parkinson’s, the hyperhidrosis was well into place before my tremors, so after we did a bunch of post-wedding photos, we did the family lunch thing.

Oh, and I created a picture show / video / music of how we met.

Other than that, my wife made most of the important choices. I nodded appropriately, and like her family, my family, and our friends, I played my role appropriately. I showed up to the wedding, and I brought the rings. Life was good.

When it comes to weddings, more couples should look at what’s important to them. 

Being older (35 and almost 39), it wasn’t about all of the show biz flare. Given the choice, I would have wanted the Polyphonic Spree to play a set and Vince Vaughn + Owen Wilson to come as guests, but alas… just like with the elephant, some things don't work that way.

In the end, of all of the peripherals, I remember leaving the wedding for our wedding night and feeling tired and hungry. A wedding is really an in-person game of “pass the phone.” We say thank you for gifts for 2-10 minutes a person, as we catch up on life. When it’s over, we don’t feel romantic. We feel hungry and exhausted. At that point, all that’s left to do is crash because a long day and 50-100 rounds of conversation are a big thing with family, in-laws, and lots of people we don't know to meet and greet.

That said, thanks to all for making our day special!

As for the wedding night... Jacuzzi in the suite? Champagne, too? A recipe for completing exhaustion. Take note, youngens! Wait a day or 2 before the proper honeymoon.

So as we drove south from Maumee, Ohio, we found an Arby’s, and we stopped there because they “HAVE THE MEATS!” I’m not sure what we had, but I remember that it was pretty tasty.

To this day, we enjoy Arby’s foods a lot. We love the commercial, too. Ving Rhames is the man. However, whenever we go by one or stop in, we can’t help but think about a special part of our wedding day. Nine years later, it’s just a little more ingrained and a part of us, which makes us who we are and will be.

That's a good thing.

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On this anniversary in 2018, I look over my vows to my wife Heather. In life, it’s amazing what becomes of these words over time. While we did the standard fare at the ceremony, these were my personal promises at the time.

1. To every day be true and faithful to you.

2. To never say anything that I can’t take back – even if sometimes we might not agree with one another, I will always do my best to be “excellent” to you!

3. To bring you roses and other presents as often as I can.

4. To hold you and make you feel beautiful (more beautiful than Princess Leia was to the childhood version of me) for all of your days.

5. To clean up after myself and to be helpful around the house, Debra. 6. To make your dream of having a house that is a home a reality.

7. To take you to places that fill you with wonder and excitement.

8. To take care of you when you’re sick and not feeling well (in good times and bad).

9. To always remember how much you inspire me with your strength and determination.

10. To spend lots of quality time with you.

11. To always cherish your meatball sandwiches!

12. To never feel like you owe me anything and to always be thankful for what you give me.

13. To encourage you to greatness and to always believe in my Pookie Bear.

14. To never stop acting goofy in my love for you.

15. To always find time to go on walks together.

16. To try not to snore and drive you crazy with my bodily functions!

17. To always let you know that we are a family in how I dedicate myself to the commitment that is this marriage.

18. To always get googly-eyed when I look back on the pictures of the great times that we’ve had.

19. To never stop daydreaming about how our life could have more great times and to make those great times a reality.

20. To never stop letting you know that someday I really would like a PSA10 Roger Maris rookie card – even if I know that I would never want you to spend all that money to buy it unless we win the lottery. In that case, I really do want it! (SEE THIS POST regarding how I got a PSA 8 version of said card – ALSO, how wedding gifts are not optional!)

21. AND… to always realize that I have to work for the privilege and the special thing that we have together.

Thinking back on this now, I’m an almost 47-year old guy with young-onset Parkinson’s disease. My wife never forgot her vows, especially in sickness and in health, in richer and in poorer. I’ve definitely made good on my vows, too.

Heather’s dad explained how there were no givebacks at the time.

Sitting here today, I wouldn’t want to.

Love you, Pookaford.

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If you’ve stuck around this long, these were the songs of our wedding:

Wedding Songs Lists

Music to Set up the Chairs to

1. Now by Everclear

2. Firecracker by Ryan Adams

3. More than a Feeling by Boston

4. Over and Over by Neil Young

5. Crash into Me by Dave Matthews Band

6. Franklin’s Tower by The Grateful Dead (live)

7. Run Like an Antelope by Phish

8. When the Fool Becomes a King by Polyphonic Spree

9. Margaritaville (live) by Jimmy Buffett

10. Friends in Low Places (extra verse live) by Garth Brooks

11. Free Bird (live) by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Wedding CD1

(when people are getting there)

1. Do You Realize by Flaming Lips

2. Stand by Me by John Lennon

3. Baby I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney

4. Our House by Crosby Stills and Nash

5. Never Had Nobody Like You by M Ward

6. Let’s Get it On by Marvin Gaye

7. Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Babe by Barry White

8. Let’s Stay Together by Al Green

9. Your Song by Elton John

10. Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel

11. All the Right Reasons by The Jayhawks

12. I Will by Allison Kraus

13. Hard Drive by Evan Dando

14. Living Life by The Eels

15. Northern Sky by Nick Drake

16. Anyone Else But You by Michael Cera and Ellen Page

17. 1,2,3,4 by The Plain White Ts

18. Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Callet

19. I’m Beginning to See the Light by Bobby Darin

20. Oh Look at Me Now by Frank Sinatra

21. Book of Love by Peter Gabriel

22. The Luckiest by Ben Folds

23. Theme from Married with Children

24. Grow Old With You by Adam Sandler

25. Question by Old 97s

Walking Down the Aisle

1. Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop Landon Pigg

 

Wedding CD 2

(pictures and walking back the aisle the other way)

1. I’m With Her by Rhett Miller

2. Follow Through by Gavin Degraw

3. Endless Love by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross

4. I’ve Got You under My Skin by Frank Sinatra

5. Crazy in Love by Beyonce

6. I’m Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves

7. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by The Police

8. Younger Yesterday by Polyphonic Spree

9. I’m Yours by Jason Mraz

10. Anyone Else but You by The Moldy Peaches

11. Never Tear Us Apart by INXS

12. Love Remains by Gavin Rossdale

13. Crush by David Archuletta

14. Head over Feet by Alanis Morrissette

15. I’ve Got a Crush On You by Ella Fitzgerald

16. Somebody by Depeche Mode

17. Today by The Smashing Pumpkins

18. Crazy Love by Van Morrison and Bob Dylan

19. Follow You Follow Me by Redhouse Painters

20. Hesitating Beauty by Billy Bragg and Wilco

21. Lost in this Moment by Big and Rich

 

1st Wedding CD

(getting the party started!)

VERSION 2 – THE FINAL VERSION

1. Let’s Go Crazy by Prince

2. You’re The One That I Want by John Travlota and Olivia Newton John

3. Beautiful Day by U2

4. Candyman by Christina Aguilera

5. Can’t Feel My Soul by Teenage Fanclub

6. Mr. Wrong by Cracker

7. Like a Prayer by Madonna

8. Friday I’m In Love by The Cure

9. I Melt With You by Modern English

10. Is There Something I Should Know by Duran Duran

11. We’re Gonna Be Friends by Jack Johnson

12. Into Your Arms by The Lemonheads

13. What I Like About You by The Romantics

14. Take on Me by A-Ha

15. Modern Love by David Bowie

16. Everybody Have Fun Tonight by Wang Chung

17. Hold Me Now by The Thompson Twins

18. Come on Eileen by Badly Drawn Boy

19. You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall and Oates

20. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

The Fun CD

1. I’m All Right by Kenny Loggins

2. Be Good to Yourself by Journey

3. With Plenty of Money and You by Count Basie

4. Everyday People by Sly and the Family Stone

5. Ants in My Pants by James Brown

6. ABC by The Jackson 5

7. Saturday in the Park by Chicago

8. I Get Around by The Beach Boys

9. I’m a Believer by The Monkees

10. I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles

11. It’s Not Unusual by Tom Jones

12. Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond

13. Shout by The Isley Brothers

14. Gimme Some Lovin by The Spencer Davis Group

15. Wooly Bully by Sam the Sham and The Pharaohs

16. Good Lovin by The Rascals

17. Soul Man by Sam and Dave

18. Nowhere to Run To by Martha and the Vandellas

19. Get Ready by Rare Earth

20. Burning Love by Elvis Presley

21. This Old Heart of Mine by the Isley Brothers

22. I Can’t Help Myself by The Four Tops

23. Baby I Need Your Loving by The Temptations

24. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison

25. Carrie Anne by The Hollies

26. I’m Into Something Good by Herman’s Hermits

27. My Funny Valentine by Frank Sinatra

28. I’m Beginning to See the Light by Bobby Darin

First Dance CD

VERSION 2 – THE FINAL VERSION

1. I’ve Got You Under My Skin by Frank Sinatra

2. Kiss the Girl by Samuel Wright

3. Book of Love by Magnetic Fields

4. Light and Day (orchestral) by Polyphonic Spree

5. All You Need is Love by The Beatles

6. Question by Rhett Miller

7. Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg

8. Grow Old With You by Adam Sandler

9. Anyone Else but You by The Moldy Peaches

10. The Luckiest by Ben Folds

11. Everything by Alanis Morrissette

12. Northern Sky by Nick Drake

13. 1,2,3,4 by Plain White Ts

14. Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Callet

15. Follow You Follow Me by Redhouse Painters

16. Love Remains by Gavin Rossdale

17. Follow Through by Gavin Degraw

18. Unforgettable by Nat King Cole

19. Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin

20. Here’s to the Night by Eve 6

21. At My Most Beautiful by REM

22. Somebody by Depeche Mode

23. True by Spandau Ballet

2nd Wedding CD

1. Right Here Right Now by Jesus Jones

2. This is the Day by The The

3. Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry

4. The Show by Lenka

5. Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer

6. Fields of Gold by Sting

7. Your Love is the Place Where I Come From by Teenage Fanclub

8. Moon Dance by Van Moorison

9. Dance All Night by Ryan Adams

10. Wouldn’t It Be Nice by the Beach Boys

11. I’m Gonna Be 500 Miles by The Proclaimers

12. The Climb by Miley Cyrus

13. Head Over Heels by The Go Gos

14. That’s What You Get by Paramore

15. Untouched by The Veronicas

16. Such Great Heights by The Postal Service

17. Energy by Apples in Stereo

18. Young Americans by David Bowie

19. Little Green Bag by The George Baker Selection

20. I’m Amazed by My Morning Jacket

21. Can’t Get Enough of You Baby by Smashmouth

22. Our Song by Taylor Swift

The Fun CD 2

1. It Came Out of the Sky by Credence Clearwater Revival

2. I Should Have Known Better by The Beatles

3. Walk Don’t Run by the Ventures

4. I Only Want to Be With You by The Bay City Rollers

5. Dancing Queen by Abba

6. Fun, Fun, Fun by The Beach Boys

7. Happy Together by The Turtles

8. Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones

9. Mercy Mercy Me by Marvin Gaye

10. Got to Get You Off My Mind by Solomon Burke

11. Na Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye by Steam

12. RESPECT by Aretha Franklin

13. Soul Power (live) by James Brown

14. Bop Gun by Parliament

15. Maceo Parker

16. Double Shot of My Baby’s Love by The Swinging Medallions

17. Shotgun by The All Stars

18. Rave On by Buddy Holly

19. At the Hop by Danny and the Junions

20. Chantilly Lace by The Big Bopper

21. Summertime Blues by Eddie Cochran

22. Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis

23. Tequilla by The Champs

24. Run on by Elvis Presley

25. Ain’t Too Proud to Beg by The Temptations

26. I’ve Got the World on a String by Frank Sinatra

Final CD Before Dance Music

VERSION 2 – THE FINAL VERSION

1. Eight Days a Week by Ted’s Band (Scrubs)

2. Theme from the Loveboat

3. In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel

4. Let My Love Open the Door by Pete Townsend

5. Girl from Ipanema by Some Latin Jazz Dude

6. My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

7. Don’t Trust Me by 3OH!3

8. That’s Not My Name by The Ting Tings

9. I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas

10. Love Shack by The B52s

11. Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order

12. Groove is in the Heart by Dee Lite

13. Superfreak by Rick James

14. Like a Virgin by Madonna

15. Get Right Back by Maxine Nightengale

16. Summertime by Will Smith

17. Love Sex Magic by Ciara and Justin Timberlake

18. Clumsy by Fergie

19. Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

20. Umbrella by Rhianna

21. Drop it Like it’s Hot by Snoop Dogg

 

Dance 1

1. Let’s Get It Started by The Black Eyed Peas

2. Baby Got Back by Sir Mixalot

3. Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer

4. Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

5. Push It by Salt N Pepa

6. Single Ladies by Beyonce

7. Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira

8. Don’t Stop the Music by Rhianna

9. Get Your Freak On by Missy Eliot

10. Milkshake by Kelis

11. Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado

12. Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake

13. Hey Ya by Outkast

14. In Da Club by 50 Cent

15. Blame It by Jamie Foxx

16. Hot in Here by Nelly

17. California Love by Tupac

18. Dirt off Your Shoulder by Jay Z

19. Yeah by Usher, Ludacris, and Little Jon

20. Tipsy by J Kwon

Dance 2

1. Get the Party Started by Pink

2. Crazy in Love by Beyonce

3. Bootylicious by Destiny’s Child

4. Can’t Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue

5. American Boy by Estelle and Kanye West

6. Dirrty by Christina Aguilera

7. I Like To Move It by Reel 2 Reel

8. Right Round by Flo Rida

9. This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan

10. Belly Dancer (remix) by Akon

11. Flap Your Wings by Nelly

12. Stronger by Kanye West

13. Shake Your Tailfeather by Nelly, P Diddy, and Murphy Lee

14. Stand Up by Ludacris

15. Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas

16. London Bridge by Fergie

17. Turn This Mutha Out by MC Hammer

18. Don’t Cha by Pussycat Dolls

19. Work It by Missy Eliot

20. Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It by Will Smith

 

Dance 3

1. Let Me Clear My Throat by DJ Kool

2. Up in Here by DMX

3. You Can Do It by Ice Cube

4. Get Low by Little Jon

5. The Way I Are by Timbaland

6. Lollipop by Little Wayne

7. Da Butt by EU

8. Gold Digger by Kanye West and Jamie Foxx

9. Hey Mama by Black Eyed Peas

10. Candy Shop by 50 Cent

11. Temperature by Sean Paul

12. Get Your Freak On by Missy Eliot

13. Buttons by Pussycat Dolls

14. Independent Woman 1 by Destiny’s Child

15. Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani

16. Run It by Chris Brown

17. Back That Azz Up by Juvenile

18. No Diggity by Blackstreet

19. Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake

20. Gonna Make You Sweat by C+C Music Factory

Dance Music 4

1. I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas

2. Turn this Mutha Out by LL Cool J

3. Bust a Move by Young MC

4. Bring the Noise by Public Enemy

5. New Jack Hustler by Ice T

6. 99 Problems by Jay Z

7. Magic Stick by 50 Cent and Lil Kim

8. Drop it Like it’s Hot by Snoop Dogg

9. Touch the Sky by Kanye West

10. I’m Real by Jennifer Lopez

11. Ain’t No Other Man by Christina Aguilera

12. Umbrella by Rhianna

13. Whenever Forever by Shakira

14. Independent Woman Part 1 by Destiny’s Child

15. Groove is in the Heart by Dee Lite

16. Get Off by Prince

17. Nothing but a G Thing by Dr. Dre

18. The Humpty Dance by Digital Undeground

Classic Rock CD

1. Suite Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby Stills and Nash

2. Tiny Dancer by Elton John

3. Piano Man by Billy Joel

4. Dear Prudence by The Beatles

5. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

6. Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meat Loaf

7. I Want You to Want Me (live) by Cheap Trick

8. Magic Bus by The Who

9. Dream On by Aerosmith

10. Light My Fire by The Doors

11. Foxy Lady by Jimi Hendrix

12. You Shook Me All Night Long by ACDC

13. Let’s Spend the Night Together by The Rolling Stones

14. Lola (live) by the Kinks

15. Hotel California by the Eagles

 

Classic Southern Country

1. Changes by David Bowie

2. Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed

3. America by Simon and Garfunkel

4. Box of Rain by The Grateful Dead

5. American Pie by Don Mclean

6. Free Fallin by Tom Petty

7. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison

8. Tell Me by The Rolling Stones

9. Margaritaville (live) by Jimmy Buffet

10. Ramble On by Led Zeppelin

11. Rock and Roll All Night by Kiss

12. All Summer Long by Kid Rock

13. Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd

14. Family Tradition by Hank Jr.

15. Nothing I Can Do About It Now by Willie Nelson

16. Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy by Big and Rich

17. As Good as I Once Was by Toby Keith

18. I’ve Always Been Crazy by Waylon Jennings

19. I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash

Driving Off into the Sunset

1. Question by The Old 97s

2. Celebration by Kool and the Gang

3. I’m Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves

4. Rock and Roll Part 2 by Gary Glitter

5. Be Good To Yourself by Journey

6. Gimme Some Lovin’ by Spencer Davis Group

7. Running Away by The Polyphonic Spree

8. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper

9. Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince

10. I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas

11. Independent Room by Fugazichild

12. Hey Ya by Lorene Drive

13. Umbrella by All Time Low

14. California Love by My American Heart

15. Gin and Juice by The Gourds

16. Why Don’t We Get Drunk by Jimmy Buffett

17. If I had a Million Dollars by Barenaked Ladies

18. Desert Rose by Sting

19. Beautiful by The Lemonheads