Today, 9 years after I said, "I do," and my wife
responded in kind (after I thanked her for coming), I find myself thinking of all of the
things that happened that wedding
day in August of 2009.
Many people spend a lot on weddings, and they don’t
always get what they pay for, especially a lot of young people ponying up for
5+ figure weddings. Not that the fear of divorce is a reason not to have a great day, but what's more important? A wedding day or a home together?
We didn’t have one of those weddings. Ours was as the Toledo
Botanical Gardens in Ohio. That reception was at her sister’s house. We had
another reception in Pennsylvania for my family at a picnic grove. That said,
it was an awesome pair of days that were incredibly special, though I wish I rode in on an elephant like Katy Perry.
A lot of couples fight over what will be happening in
the wedding. In the end, I gave all but a few choices to my wife. When we chose
our venue, I chose a botanical garden over a stately mansion because my wife
loves flowers. We couldn’t see that much of it in the snow when we reserved it,
but it was the right choice for the end of summer.
I also got to choose the music. I took Heather’s choices
into consideration. You can see the songs listed below. I think I did pretty
well balancing out for all things. Not one of the songs is by Slayer or Einsturzende Neubauten.
Originally, I wanted to get married in a bowtie (to
look like Indiana Jones), but I did that for the rehearsal after my wife's proposed changes. With that,
my wife picked out the pink shirt and pink + blue tie to go with the charcoal
gray suit I went with.
I wrote the story of how we got married for the
pastor. With me being a wordy guy, he cut it down for time. Otherwise, it would have
been a way too long and hot day (It was a hot day). For a person who was in the
process of transitioning into Parkinson’s, the hyperhidrosis was well into
place before my tremors, so after we did a bunch of post-wedding photos, we did
the family lunch thing.
Oh, and I created a picture show / video / music of
how we met.
Other than that, my wife made most of the important choices. I
nodded appropriately, and like her family, my family, and our friends, I played
my role appropriately. I showed up to the wedding, and I brought the rings. Life was good.
When it comes to weddings, more couples should look at
what’s important to them.
Being older (35 and almost 39), it wasn’t about all of
the show biz flare. Given the choice, I would have wanted the Polyphonic
Spree to play a set and Vince Vaughn + Owen Wilson
to come as guests, but alas… just like with the elephant, some things don't work that way.
In the end, of all of the peripherals, I remember
leaving the wedding for our wedding night and feeling tired and hungry. A
wedding is really an in-person game of “pass the phone.” We say thank you for
gifts for 2-10 minutes a person, as we catch up on life. When it’s over, we
don’t feel romantic. We feel hungry and exhausted. At that point, all that’s
left to do is crash because a long day and 50-100 rounds of conversation are a big thing with family, in-laws, and lots of people we don't know to meet and greet.
That said, thanks to all for making our day special!
As for the wedding night... Jacuzzi in the suite? Champagne, too? A recipe for
completing exhaustion. Take note, youngens! Wait a day or 2 before the proper honeymoon.
So as we drove south from Maumee, Ohio, we found an
Arby’s, and we stopped there because they “HAVE THE MEATS!” I’m not sure
what we had, but I remember that it was pretty tasty.
To this day, we enjoy Arby’s foods a lot. We love the
commercial, too. Ving
Rhames is the man. However, whenever we go by one or stop in, we can’t help but
think about a special part of our wedding day. Nine years later, it’s just a
little more ingrained and a part of us, which makes us who we are and will be.
That's a good thing.
++++
On this anniversary in 2018, I look over my vows to my wife Heather. In
life, it’s amazing what becomes of these words over time. While we did the
standard fare at the ceremony, these were my personal promises at the time.
1.
To every day be true and faithful to you.
2.
To never say anything that I can’t take back – even if sometimes we might not
agree with one another, I will always do my best to be “excellent” to you!
3.
To bring you roses and other presents as often as I can.
4.
To hold you and make you feel beautiful (more beautiful than Princess Leia
was to the childhood version of me) for all of your days.
5.
To clean up after myself and to be helpful around the house, Debra.
6. To make your dream of having a house that is a home a reality.
7.
To take you to places that fill you with wonder and excitement.
8.
To take care of you when you’re sick and not feeling well (in good times and
bad).
9.
To always remember how much you inspire me with your strength and
determination.
10.
To spend lots of quality time with you.
11.
To always cherish your meatball sandwiches!
12.
To never feel like you owe me anything and to always be thankful for what you
give me.
13.
To encourage you to greatness and to always believe in my Pookie Bear.
14.
To never stop acting goofy in my love for you.
15.
To always find time to go on walks together.
16.
To try not to snore and drive you crazy with my bodily functions!
17.
To always let you know that we are a family in how I dedicate myself to the
commitment that is this marriage.
18.
To always get googly-eyed when I look back on the pictures of the great times
that we’ve had.
19.
To never stop daydreaming about how our life could have more great times and to
make those great times a reality.
20.
To never stop letting you know that someday I really would like a PSA10 Roger
Maris rookie card – even if I know that I would never want you to spend all
that money to buy it unless we win the lottery. In that case, I really do want
it! (SEE THIS POST regarding how I got a
PSA 8 version of said card – ALSO, how wedding gifts are not optional!)
21.
AND… to always realize that I have to work for the privilege and the special
thing that we have together.
Thinking
back on this now, I’m an almost 47-year old guy with young-onset Parkinson’s
disease. My wife never forgot her vows, especially in sickness and in health,
in richer and in poorer. I’ve definitely made good on my vows, too.
Heather’s
dad explained how there were no givebacks at the time.
Sitting
here today, I wouldn’t want to.
Love
you, Pookaford.
++++
If
you’ve stuck around this long, these were the songs of our wedding:
Wedding
Songs Lists
Music
to Set up the Chairs to
1.
Now by Everclear
2.
Firecracker by Ryan Adams
3.
More than a Feeling by Boston
4.
Over and Over by Neil Young
5.
Crash into Me by Dave Matthews Band
6.
Franklin’s Tower by The Grateful Dead (live)
7.
Run Like an Antelope by Phish
8.
When the Fool Becomes a King by Polyphonic Spree
9.
Margaritaville (live) by Jimmy Buffett
10.
Friends in Low Places (extra verse live) by Garth Brooks
11.
Free Bird (live) by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Wedding
CD1
(when
people are getting there)
1.
Do You Realize by Flaming Lips
2.
Stand by Me by John Lennon
3.
Baby I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney
4.
Our House by Crosby Stills and Nash
5.
Never Had Nobody Like You by M Ward
6.
Let’s Get it On by Marvin Gaye
7.
Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Babe by Barry White
8.
Let’s Stay Together by Al Green
9.
Your Song by Elton John
10.
Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel
11.
All the Right Reasons by The Jayhawks
12.
I Will by Allison Kraus
13.
Hard Drive by Evan Dando
14.
Living Life by The Eels
15.
Northern Sky by Nick Drake
16.
Anyone Else But You by Michael Cera and Ellen Page
17.
1,2,3,4 by The Plain White Ts
18.
Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Callet
19.
I’m Beginning to See the Light by Bobby Darin
20.
Oh Look at Me Now by Frank Sinatra
21.
Book of Love by Peter Gabriel
22.
The Luckiest by Ben Folds
23.
Theme from Married with Children
24.
Grow Old With You by Adam Sandler
25.
Question by Old 97s
Walking
Down the Aisle
1.
Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop Landon Pigg
Wedding
CD 2
(pictures
and walking back the aisle the other way)
1.
I’m With Her by Rhett Miller
2.
Follow Through by Gavin Degraw
3.
Endless Love by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross
4.
I’ve Got You under My Skin by Frank Sinatra
5.
Crazy in Love by Beyonce
6.
I’m Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves
7.
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by The Police
8.
Younger Yesterday by Polyphonic Spree
9.
I’m Yours by Jason Mraz
10.
Anyone Else but You by The Moldy Peaches
11.
Never Tear Us Apart by INXS
12.
Love Remains by Gavin Rossdale
13.
Crush by David Archuletta
14.
Head over Feet by Alanis Morrissette
15.
I’ve Got a Crush On You by Ella Fitzgerald
16.
Somebody by Depeche Mode
17.
Today by The Smashing Pumpkins
18.
Crazy Love by Van Morrison and Bob Dylan
19.
Follow You Follow Me by Redhouse Painters
20.
Hesitating Beauty by Billy Bragg and Wilco
21.
Lost in this Moment by Big and Rich
1st
Wedding CD
(getting
the party started!)
VERSION
2 – THE FINAL VERSION
1.
Let’s Go Crazy by Prince
2.
You’re The One That I Want by John Travlota and Olivia Newton John
3.
Beautiful Day by U2
4.
Candyman by Christina Aguilera
5.
Can’t Feel My Soul by Teenage Fanclub
6.
Mr. Wrong by Cracker
7.
Like a Prayer by Madonna
8.
Friday I’m In Love by The Cure
9.
I Melt With You by Modern English
10.
Is There Something I Should Know by Duran Duran
11.
We’re Gonna Be Friends by Jack Johnson
12.
Into Your Arms by The Lemonheads
13.
What I Like About You by The Romantics
14.
Take on Me by A-Ha
15.
Modern Love by David Bowie
16.
Everybody Have Fun Tonight by Wang Chung
17.
Hold Me Now by The Thompson Twins
18.
Come on Eileen by Badly Drawn Boy
19.
You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall and Oates
20.
Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler
The
Fun CD
1.
I’m All Right by Kenny Loggins
2.
Be Good to Yourself by Journey
3.
With Plenty of Money and You by Count Basie
4.
Everyday People by Sly and the Family Stone
5.
Ants in My Pants by James Brown
6.
ABC by The Jackson 5
7.
Saturday in the Park by Chicago
8.
I Get Around by The Beach Boys
9.
I’m a Believer by The Monkees
10.
I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles
11.
It’s Not Unusual by Tom Jones
12.
Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond
13.
Shout by The Isley Brothers
14.
Gimme Some Lovin by The Spencer Davis Group
15.
Wooly Bully by Sam the Sham and The Pharaohs
16.
Good Lovin by The Rascals
17.
Soul Man by Sam and Dave
18.
Nowhere to Run To by Martha and the Vandellas
19.
Get Ready by Rare Earth
20.
Burning Love by Elvis Presley
21.
This Old Heart of Mine by the Isley Brothers
22.
I Can’t Help Myself by The Four Tops
23.
Baby I Need Your Loving by The Temptations
24.
Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
25.
Carrie Anne by The Hollies
26.
I’m Into Something Good by Herman’s Hermits
27.
My Funny Valentine by Frank Sinatra
28.
I’m Beginning to See the Light by Bobby Darin
First
Dance CD
VERSION
2 – THE FINAL VERSION
1.
I’ve Got You Under My Skin by Frank Sinatra
2.
Kiss the Girl by Samuel Wright
3.
Book of Love by Magnetic Fields
4.
Light and Day (orchestral) by Polyphonic Spree
5.
All You Need is Love by The Beatles
6.
Question by Rhett Miller
7.
Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg
8.
Grow Old With You by Adam Sandler
9.
Anyone Else but You by The Moldy Peaches
10.
The Luckiest by Ben Folds
11.
Everything by Alanis Morrissette
12.
Northern Sky by Nick Drake
13.
1,2,3,4 by Plain White Ts
14.
Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Callet
15.
Follow You Follow Me by Redhouse Painters
16.
Love Remains by Gavin Rossdale
17.
Follow Through by Gavin Degraw
18.
Unforgettable by Nat King Cole
19.
Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin
20.
Here’s to the Night by Eve 6
21.
At My Most Beautiful by REM
22.
Somebody by Depeche Mode
23.
True by Spandau Ballet
2nd
Wedding CD
1.
Right Here Right Now by Jesus Jones
2.
This is the Day by The The
3.
Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry
4.
The Show by Lenka
5.
Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer
6.
Fields of Gold by Sting
7.
Your Love is the Place Where I Come From by Teenage Fanclub
8.
Moon Dance by Van Moorison
9.
Dance All Night by Ryan Adams
10.
Wouldn’t It Be Nice by the Beach Boys
11.
I’m Gonna Be 500 Miles by The Proclaimers
12.
The Climb by Miley Cyrus
13.
Head Over Heels by The Go Gos
14.
That’s What You Get by Paramore
15.
Untouched by The Veronicas
16.
Such Great Heights by The Postal Service
17.
Energy by Apples in Stereo
18.
Young Americans by David Bowie
19.
Little Green Bag by The George Baker Selection
20.
I’m Amazed by My Morning Jacket
21.
Can’t Get Enough of You Baby by Smashmouth
22.
Our Song by Taylor Swift
The
Fun CD 2
1.
It Came Out of the Sky by Credence Clearwater Revival
2.
I Should Have Known Better by The Beatles
3.
Walk Don’t Run by the Ventures
4.
I Only Want to Be With You by The Bay City Rollers
5.
Dancing Queen by Abba
6.
Fun, Fun, Fun by The Beach Boys
7.
Happy Together by The Turtles
8.
Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones
9.
Mercy Mercy Me by Marvin Gaye
10.
Got to Get You Off My Mind by Solomon Burke
11.
Na Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye by Steam
12.
RESPECT by Aretha Franklin
13.
Soul Power (live) by James Brown
14.
Bop Gun by Parliament
15.
Maceo Parker
16.
Double Shot of My Baby’s Love by The Swinging Medallions
17.
Shotgun by The All Stars
18.
Rave On by Buddy Holly
19.
At the Hop by Danny and the Junions
20.
Chantilly Lace by The Big Bopper
21.
Summertime Blues by Eddie Cochran
22.
Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis
23.
Tequilla by The Champs
24.
Run on by Elvis Presley
25.
Ain’t Too Proud to Beg by The Temptations
26.
I’ve Got the World on a String by Frank Sinatra
Final
CD Before Dance Music
VERSION
2 – THE FINAL VERSION
1.
Eight Days a Week by Ted’s Band (Scrubs)
2.
Theme from the Loveboat
3.
In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
4.
Let My Love Open the Door by Pete Townsend
5.
Girl from Ipanema by Some Latin Jazz Dude
6.
My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
7.
Don’t Trust Me by 3OH!3
8.
That’s Not My Name by The Ting Tings
9.
I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas
10.
Love Shack by The B52s
11.
Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order
12.
Groove is in the Heart by Dee Lite
13.
Superfreak by Rick James
14.
Like a Virgin by Madonna
15.
Get Right Back by Maxine Nightengale
16.
Summertime by Will Smith
17.
Love Sex Magic by Ciara and Justin Timberlake
18.
Clumsy by Fergie
19.
Crazy by Gnarls Barkley
20.
Umbrella by Rhianna
21.
Drop it Like it’s Hot by Snoop Dogg
Dance
1
1.
Let’s Get It Started by The Black Eyed Peas
2.
Baby Got Back by Sir Mixalot
3.
Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer
4.
Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
5.
Push It by Salt N Pepa
6.
Single Ladies by Beyonce
7.
Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira
8.
Don’t Stop the Music by Rhianna
9.
Get Your Freak On by Missy Eliot
10.
Milkshake by Kelis
11.
Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado
12.
Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake
13.
Hey Ya by Outkast
14.
In Da Club by 50 Cent
15.
Blame It by Jamie Foxx
16.
Hot in Here by Nelly
17.
California Love by Tupac
18.
Dirt off Your Shoulder by Jay Z
19.
Yeah by Usher, Ludacris, and Little Jon
20.
Tipsy by J Kwon
Dance
2
1.
Get the Party Started by Pink
2.
Crazy in Love by Beyonce
3.
Bootylicious by Destiny’s Child
4.
Can’t Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue
5.
American Boy by Estelle and Kanye West
6.
Dirrty by Christina Aguilera
7.
I Like To Move It by Reel 2 Reel
8.
Right Round by Flo Rida
9.
This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan
10.
Belly Dancer (remix) by Akon
11.
Flap Your Wings by Nelly
12.
Stronger by Kanye West
13.
Shake Your Tailfeather by Nelly, P Diddy, and Murphy Lee
14.
Stand Up by Ludacris
15.
Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas
16.
London Bridge by Fergie
17.
Turn This Mutha Out by MC Hammer
18.
Don’t Cha by Pussycat Dolls
19.
Work It by Missy Eliot
20.
Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It by Will Smith
Dance
3
1.
Let Me Clear My Throat by DJ Kool
2.
Up in Here by DMX
3.
You Can Do It by Ice Cube
4.
Get Low by Little Jon
5.
The Way I Are by Timbaland
6.
Lollipop by Little Wayne
7.
Da Butt by EU
8.
Gold Digger by Kanye West and Jamie Foxx
9.
Hey Mama by Black Eyed Peas
10.
Candy Shop by 50 Cent
11.
Temperature by Sean Paul
12.
Get Your Freak On by Missy Eliot
13.
Buttons by Pussycat Dolls
14.
Independent Woman 1 by Destiny’s Child
15.
Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani
16.
Run It by Chris Brown
17.
Back That Azz Up by Juvenile
18.
No Diggity by Blackstreet
19.
Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake
20.
Gonna Make You Sweat by C+C Music Factory
Dance
Music 4
1.
I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas
2.
Turn this Mutha Out by LL Cool J
3.
Bust a Move by Young MC
4.
Bring the Noise by Public Enemy
5.
New Jack Hustler by Ice T
6.
99 Problems by Jay Z
7.
Magic Stick by 50 Cent and Lil Kim
8.
Drop it Like it’s Hot by Snoop Dogg
9.
Touch the Sky by Kanye West
10.
I’m Real by Jennifer Lopez
11.
Ain’t No Other Man by Christina Aguilera
12.
Umbrella by Rhianna
13.
Whenever Forever by Shakira
14.
Independent Woman Part 1 by Destiny’s Child
15.
Groove is in the Heart by Dee Lite
16.
Get Off by Prince
17.
Nothing but a G Thing by Dr. Dre
18.
The Humpty Dance by Digital Undeground
Classic
Rock CD
1.
Suite Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby Stills and Nash
2.
Tiny Dancer by Elton John
3.
Piano Man by Billy Joel
4.
Dear Prudence by The Beatles
5.
Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
6.
Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meat Loaf
7.
I Want You to Want Me (live) by Cheap Trick
8.
Magic Bus by The Who
9.
Dream On by Aerosmith
10.
Light My Fire by The Doors
11.
Foxy Lady by Jimi Hendrix
12.
You Shook Me All Night Long by ACDC
13.
Let’s Spend the Night Together by The Rolling Stones
14.
Lola (live) by the Kinks
15.
Hotel California by the Eagles
Classic
Southern Country
1.
Changes by David Bowie
2.
Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed
3.
America by Simon and Garfunkel
4.
Box of Rain by The Grateful Dead
5.
American Pie by Don Mclean
6.
Free Fallin by Tom Petty
7.
Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
8.
Tell Me by The Rolling Stones
9.
Margaritaville (live) by Jimmy Buffet
10.
Ramble On by Led Zeppelin
11.
Rock and Roll All Night by Kiss
12.
All Summer Long by Kid Rock
13.
Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd
14.
Family Tradition by Hank Jr.
15.
Nothing I Can Do About It Now by Willie Nelson
16.
Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy by Big and Rich
17.
As Good as I Once Was by Toby Keith
18.
I’ve Always Been Crazy by Waylon Jennings
19.
I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash
Driving
Off into the Sunset
1.
Question by The Old 97s
2.
Celebration by Kool and the Gang
3.
I’m Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves
4.
Rock and Roll Part 2 by Gary Glitter
5.
Be Good To Yourself by Journey
6.
Gimme Some Lovin’ by Spencer Davis Group
7.
Running Away by The Polyphonic Spree
8.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper
9.
Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
10.
I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas
11.
Independent Room by Fugazichild
12.
Hey Ya by Lorene Drive
13.
Umbrella by All Time Low
14.
California Love by My American Heart
15.
Gin and Juice by The Gourds
16.
Why Don’t We Get Drunk by Jimmy Buffett
17.
If I had a Million Dollars by Barenaked Ladies
18.
Desert Rose by Sting
19.
Beautiful by The Lemonheads
