Sleep: The Good, The Scary, and The Future as Well as Some Thankful Expressions

Recently, my friend John who works at the Salt Lounge in Wyomissing, Pennsylvania, invited me to experience salt therapy at his place of work.

I must say, it put me to sleep. Literally. I was awake for 15 minutes, and I fell asleep.

That's not a bad or uncommon thing. In fact, the staff warns you that it could happen because the therapy WILL relax you and make you breathe easier. Put simply, it was the bomb diggity. Right now, the goal is to take my wife back for our anniversary in August and do massages and salt therapy.

To set the stage, when you walk into the room, you are mandated to take off your socks and shoes as you walk across a floor of pink Himalayan sea salt. Apparently, people don't want to walk barefoot through your gunk, so please oblige.

All around you is additional pink sea salt, which is pumping into the room. You are given a Walkman with various trance style music to listen to, and the lights are dimmed to reveal white specks like stars, which appear as glowing lights. These flicker on and off as the spacey music fills your brain.

So there I was, sitting on an Adirondack chair, letting my thoughts vanish, and drifting into no thoughts. WHAM! I was woken up a half hour later to hear that it was over.

What? It's over!

If I were to do it again, I would have The Orb's "Little Fluffy Clouds" on. I think that would express everything I wanted to feel in the moment.

Anyway, I've had good luck with salt therapy in the past, so convincing me to go was no big deal. My wife's sister had one of those salt lamps, and I slept really well with it when we were in Georgia. This was prior to my sleep aepnea diagnosis (though I knew I had it). Right now, I don't sleep well at all, so for someone with sleeping / breathing issues, the salt is a good thing.  Now, we've got 3 set up in the house. Two were gifts from her, and one we had, but it was in the attic.

As for my post-salt therapy sleep experience, keep in mind, I went home that evening and laid down on my couch, drifting off to sleep. I woke up 12 hours later to a phone call that I was late for hiking. I didn't wake up to go to the bathroom prior to that either, which is unheard of! Also keep in mind, 12 hours of sleep is 2 nights in my world of insane sleep (more about that later).

Obviously, you good people are spread out, but if you're near Reading, Pennsylvania, you should swing on by. There's lots of other things to see and do in Wyomissing. After all, it's where Taylor Swift lived before moving to Nashville, and yes, they claim her pretty hard around here! Other than that, you're about 30 minutes from Amish Country, too.

I recommend Shady Maple Smorgasbord! It's pricey, but it's better buffet food with more quality choices. You'll feel the bloat, but it's worth it! Taylor Swift might not be able to eat in there now without being mobbed, but you might see Raymond the Amish Comic!

+++

But anyway, when it comes to sleep, I have been having issues lately. In the last 3 weeks, I have had many aggressive dreams, which is weird because I'm actually feeling pretty mellow, and in the worst of the dreams, I was falling asleep to Parks and Rec.

1) Someone is saying horrible things about Parkinson's people, so I stand up for all of us. Mind you, I am at the house my family lived at from age 16 to 29. I feel that I have nothing to lose, so I talk said person down only to confront another person who feels like he needs to keep the aggression flowing.

2) A dream where 2 former bosses melt into one another, and I have to confront them over lies they are saying. One of them is from nearly a decade and a half ago. Somehow, this dream drifts into going back to Basic Training. A lot of my dreams do. I tend to find myself in a more comfortable and capable way while there than I did in real life (yes, I get the symbolism of that). I have been back to Basic Training with my wife Heather, myself, and my former unit, some 30 years later. They're not bad dreams, but I always dread doing things like 6 inch square folding and locker inspection preparedness. I'm more exact about things like writing, but things that can just be... they tend to be.

3) I have had 2 punching dreams that I remember. In the second dream, I'm not sure why I punched, but I know I swung at the headboard. In the first dream, my wife and I were in a store, where we encountered the owner having to fight back against a rambunctious crowd of post-teens. As he defended himself, one of the thug kids asked if we wanted to help get him. I refused, and soon we were fighting off the thugs. I know I swung at least twice. Despite having no control over my out of sleep actions (a part of REM SBD, which keeps the body from being shut off), I am hyper-aware of them. In the past, this has allowed me to fly or choose direction. I can also talk to myself in my dreams. Let's just say, it's a wild ride in there. As this dream continued, I found that we were having to fashion spears to go on the attack. When it was over, it turned out that it was some kind of a game (I assume somewhere between a club and the Hunger Games), and because of that, they were gearing up for a second round.

4) I had another dream where 2 people I know were present. The wife was being condescending and hateful toward the husband, and I remember shoving her for this. As that occurred, the husband announced that the wife was cheating on him, so it was a case of me defending his honor in somewhat the way I did the people with Parkinson's in #1. After that, I remember him resolving their situation to find his independence.

5) In another dream, I met John McCain during a session of Basic Training. I remember that he was feeling that some of my observations about him were wrong, which bothered me because he's my current favorite living leader.

6) Additionally, while falling asleep, I might wake up and feel my body snapping here and there.

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Recently, I had another sleep study to figure out why I'm ripping my sleep apnea mask off every night. I wear it, and it doesn't feel uncomfortable. I manage to fall asleep, but in times that range from less than an hour to less than 4 hours, off it comes. I have NO KNOWLEDGE that this has happened (except in 1 case). If I sleep on my back, I fare better, but that's not perfect since I'm a side sleeper. Hence, my pulmonary doctor sent me back for more tests because she's still trying to be sure about asthma and aspiration pneumonia. I've written about THIS in the past.

I've also written about sleep apnea before. Here is part 1 and part 2.

Personally, I'm more sold on REM Sleep Behavior Disorder and Parkinson's breathing issues.

This is my first pneumonia account. This is the second.

Anyway, all 3 times, I went here (though to 2 different centers, but the same attendant Michelle). I sent this to her boss.

I am writing this letter to commend your employee, Michelle.

Over the past few months, I have been to 2 different Lancaster County sleep centers over 3 visits. Each time, I had the pleasure of being treated by Michelle. Her manner has always been upbeat and she shines with dedication to her profession.

While much of her job that that patients see deals with getting them ready for the study by “wiring them up,” she does her best to cut down on the awkwardness and potential discomfort of the on and off sticky substances. Here, she even made the “goopy” part of the experience as pleasant as can be (the same was true for the reverse part of the procedure).

Additionally, she worked hard to explain everything that was about to be done and that was done. She did while all the while answering all of my questions. While this is “part of the job,” I have an excessive amount of questions due to the fact that I have Parkinson’s disease, which is a condition that I write about for myself and Health Union.

Here, I am able to take my former life as a teacher and combine it with my current life as an educator / advocate and combine them in a written form so that other people and I will be able to understand the process. Knowing that I have a solid professional voice guiding me to answers while helping to alleviate concerns makes me confident of who she is as a professional. Also, with her help, I am able to assist others in coming to accept help with sleep apnea. To me, this is what life is all about.

Please know how appreciated your staff member is (she’s not just helping me – her care is making a difference world-wide. Here, I can say this simply: I would recommend your practice to anyone for the value she brings to it.

I really like writing letters like this, but I also like being able to be a part of the research in a hermeneutic phenomenology kind of way. While that's a big way of saying a researcher aims to find cold hard "objective" data in how people "subjectively" describe their own participation in an action. For instance, I tell you in paragraph form how it feels to get a treatment. 

Here, my writer's side allows me to express what I'm going through in enough words to really make something of it.

On that note, I hate questions like "How much pain are you in?"

What's  a 0? A perfect Sandals vacation?

What's a 10? An 8-year stint at the Hanoi Hilton?

So where is my aspiration pneumonia in all of that? Is a 4 a fair estimate? If I said 8, is this just a weak pain tolerance?

How about I just describe it to you?

Working with Michele is easy because she's into the dream aspect of the job, and was able to talk about future research with that as well as what's going on. 

For instance, I could ask her things like, "Did you catch that dream in the second half?" She would tell me she did, and she could describe some of my actions like how I moved my feet (part of my REM SBD). Unfortunately, she can't TIVO the dream for me... yet.

While there, I didn't rip the mask off, and I slept easily (as I did the other times). I had really wanted to work with the doctors to watch me do this while they explain it to me, but yeah... maybe I'll just have to set it up in my bedroom. Then again, do I really want to? I might reveal ghosts (!?!?!?!?!).

Somewhere in all of this, I find myself working to help myself, but I also find myself frustrated with the endless search for problems to label. I feel like the astronauts in Tom Hanks' Apollo 13 when they just get frustrated with being trapped in space and doubtful of their return, so they rebel against being monitored by Houston by pulling off their sensors.

Nobody will know my kidney functions now!

Of course, just like with Jim Lovell's crew, there comes a time when we need to be left to do this, and there's a time to just shut up and listen because this effort for Sisyphus might be heroic.

I'm not sure of where I am with regard to the treatment. I believe it could help, but unless I stay at the sleep center (my wife would have a problem with that) or we fastened the mask to my head with metal clasps, I'm just not sure.

Additionally, I'm done adding medicines for a while. I sleep alone, so I'm not a danger to other people, and besides, not all meds are good for me. My doc referred to my body as "too sensitive." Here, I have little interest in yet another brain medicine when I have 3 already.

In the meantime, I'll strap on my mask tonight and hope for the best.

(Also, see THIS POST for more about my sleep issues regarding some of the reasons I sleep alone as well as other issues that Parkies face in the bedroom).

Learning to Write: My 6th Grade Autobiography!

      As a writer, the biggest fear we have should not be rejection. Some people aren’t going to like our style or our message. We can learn to deal with this. 

     At some point, we have to try. Besides, even JK Rowling took the pass overs.

     As statistics professor Mike Desantis (RIP) would say, "You've done your best. Now move on." He's right. After publishing once, it's easier to publish twice, even if it's just self published stuff.

     The real problem is (as South Park said) that The Simpsons did it first. The point is that our ideas get used by other people, and if we don't get to it quickly, the opportunity will vanish in front of us.

      Here, I think of my idea for a Roger Maris story in 1998 that became 61* when Billy Crystal did it first. While it was too late to write the Maris story (even with Mark McGwire references), I did write a version of that later on from his wife's perspective. It became an assignment for a fiction class I took in college. I may yet do something more with that, so someday, you can read it.

      Other ideas appear to be plagiarism because things we might like to do or actually do, things that seem so original, are already out there in the ether, floating around. We go on doing our thing, but then later on, we discover this. I can name more than a few examples of this. We all can. X, Y, and Z have no lawsuit on me, so I'm not going to let them prey on the royalties I have from 8 fans of wendigoes in my supernatural writing. Besides, in at least one case, the other version of a small idea I used was made for TV slop marketed to 90s girls who would have liked the Hardy Boys TV show in the 1970s.

      Is this our collective unconscious or the Akashic Record allowing several people to simultaneously invent things because of our learning up until this point (or is listening to Ancient Aliens while napping)? Who am I to say, but the reality is there’s nothing new under the sun, so it's our job to hope that we don't get that lawsuit or P word accusation... at least until we make mad Taylor Swift bank (and I know I'd like some of that).  She's either ironclad, or the phrase "Not significantly original" really does apply to "Shake it Off."

"    "In order for such short phrases to be protected under the Copyright Act, they must be more creative than the lyrics at issue here," the judge rules

      Unfortunately, when people don't have creative abilities, they look to get a part of those who do. This brings star chasing lawyers to successful ideas by authors who never were as successful as they could have been (cue the JK Rowling Blues and TS Eliot was a Plagiarist). Here, it's important to note, much of my writing is in this category, so don't pilfer my ideas, or I'll go all Hulkamania on you (wait, that was used).

      To me, if we know what’s true, all is good. The bigger problem is not to do it in the first place. Make it happen. Start somewhere for this. If you and someone you know have similar ideas, so be it. Consider yourselves to be part of a similar literary generation.

YEAH!

  

     In 6th grade, my teacher Mr. Stocker, who was very influential in my education and life, assigned us my favorite homework topic of all time: an autobiography. Seeing as it was a springboard to writing now, I truly appreciate it. That said, the older me would want more details out of that 6th grade whippersnapper! 

      "Five pages handwritten! What kind of a slacker are you? More, more, more! Details are everything! Let it flow, man!"

            "Uh, dude, I'm 12. Back off."

      He gave me an A, and I'm happy for that. He respected hard work. Nevertheless, while I joke about the above, it's strange to look back on 11-12 and think about what matters and what doesn't. My stuff is vague, but it represents an iceberg to what it become via mad letter writing and journaling sessions in my Air Force days (on paper, no less!).  

      Here, I give you a classic work of literature - that 6th grade autobiography. I've left out the table of contents and outline, but you get the pictures. Feel free to steal ideas from it. I have no intent to disrupt your fair use or roll on the floor laughter. Besides, I have no mad bank to pay for Taylor's lawyers.

      Enjoy!

Get your totally free copy here!!

I Think You and the Moon and Neptune Got it Right (with a Little bit of Tremors, Echosmith's "Bright," and the Images of New York)

One of the best trips that my wife and I ever went on was a weekend vacation to Letchworth State Park in New York State. 

For those people that don’t know the difference between the state and the city, the answer is simple, and it’s defined in 2 pictures (the state above and the city below). 

While Jay-Z sings "Empire State of Mind" to represent the New York attitude, it's more about the city, which Frank Sinatra says, "never sleeps." Ace Frehley has his groove, Billy Joel has a state of mind, and Taylor Swift bids you a welcome to the city, but none of them really get the feel of the mountains, the waterfalls, the Finger Lakes, or the surrounding wine country. 

In your own mind, you can choose what you feel is better, and you can enjoy that. While I prefer the surroundings to the city, there is architecture, the arts, hustle, bustle, shopping, restaurants, and a culture unique and to itself in the city. You can't get that anywhere else, at least like this.

There is nothing wrong with these things, but given the chance, I prefer the state as evidenced in these next 12 pictures (to balance the 12 above).

The 3 above are Ausable Canyon

Adirondacks

Cooperstown Baseball Hall of Fame

Ithaca

Hudson River above New York

Watkins Glen

Lake Seneca

Obviously, one of these things is not like the other.

At Letchworth, these are some of the images you can see of the 3 mega waterfalls on the Genesee River (also the name of a beer that would be served in cans to family friends when my parents would go camping). I won't try to explain. I'd fail miserably. All I'll say is I heard wonderful things about it, so we just had to go!

Our final stop on the first Saturday of our trip (Labor Day weekend) was to sit at a viewing spot and gaze back on a waterfall from about a mile away (as the sun descended and left us dark, save the lights on the waterfall). It was too far to take good pictures, but it was beautiful. We sat in the silence and enjoyed the stars. From there, we went to another parking area that was less crowded to watch the stars. Amazingly, we were in the midst of a meteor shower.

The first one that I saw was a brilliantly visible streak. I immediately wished for Heather's happiness.

After a while, we went back to our hotel and crashed that night, falling asleep in a happy slumber.

The next day was a beautiful day with some other waterfalls (Stony Brook) and the New York State Festival of Balloons.

In the picture of the waterfall, you see no people. That's because people aren't allowed on the waterfall. The park discourages this highly. We didn't know this, and many of my pictures show people jumping off a lower cliff for the waterfall. I don't show them so that I can encourage you to be a rule follower and to not get hurt at a pretty park.

Yes, at the balloon fest, we did go up for a trial flight in a balloon. It went up about 100 feet, and the view was beautiful, but I was petrified due to my fear of heights. Mind you, this was before I was diagnosed with Parkinson's (about a year earlier), and my tremors bolted into overdrive. The balloon captain noticed this as well and remarked about my fear.

Who knew I was learning a Parkinson's truth.

By that time, I had also learned anger, positive excitement, and fear multiplied my tremor response. Also, I was engaging in some of the first behavior of foot tremors as my left toes would shake like Taylor Swift's response to the liars and dirty, dirty cheats.

In the end, I was happy to be on the ground, but happier for going around my fears to get up above the ground. Some day, I hope I can get back to NY State and do the Letchworth balloon dream with her. Bucket list stuff, you know.

That night, after supper, we went back to the hotel relaxing before bed. I was reading the Mothman book to prepare for our next trip to West Virginia to see the Mothman Festival. Yes, we really did go to that, and yes, it was that awesome.

As we were in bed, my phone rang. I looked at the number, and though I didn't recognize it, I knew that it was near where my aunt Toot lived.

"Hello, is this Dan?"

"Yes, who's this?"

"So and so from the such and such raffle drawing. You won our grand prize!"

At this point, my jaw dropped and my tremors went into overdrive. My wife kept asking what was wrong, and all I could say was "nothing."

It turned out the birthday ticket from my aunt had come up YUGE (in the words of Donald Trump).

The amount of money isn't important. It wasn't enough to buy a new car, but it was enough to pay off my wife's surgery after her accident in the Las Vegas desert and some other things.

In this, my wish on a shooting star brought Heather her happiness.

It was the fitting culmination to a great weekend in a beautiful place.

Here, I think the takeaway is simple, as Echosmith sings in "Bright," a song we listened to that night as we reflected on our good fortune and the beauty of New York State (which Echosmith capture perfectly).

"Did you see that shooting star tonight? Were you dazzled by the same constellation? Did you and Jupiter conspire to get me? I think you and the moon and Neptune got it right, cause now I'm shining bright, so bright."

The universe provides answers at the most desperate of times. Sometimes, we wait for just one good thing to happen in the midst of a storm, but really, it's all those other things that we're doing when life isn't going right that reward us with the universe's failsafe to keep us from going under. Sometimes, we may miss it because we don't like what it is (it's not always our favorite option), but it leads us to the right place if we accept it. In looking at my life, I can see it many times.

For instance, today, after much debate, I decided to give up teaching for a different option (after 17.5 years in a classroom) that will be better suited for finance, family, Parkinson's, and stability, since I adjuncted for the last 14 years. That was my choice. This is my choice, too. It's still in education, but it's not teaching. I had to give up adjuncting to do this. I could still teach at a different school, but for now that part of my life is over. No fanfare, a little heavy heart, and the future is all I feel.

The other day, my beloved car was totaled. I walked away OK and so did the other guy. While my car was old, I loved it for all it did for the last 11 years. Sunday, it died keeping me safe, and while it might feel weird, I felt heartbroken, even as I bought a new to me Yaris. Today, insurance gave me a check for more than what I ever could believe it was worth.

I'm not saying any of this was a cosmic coincidence. There's no scientific study on wishing on shooting stars, divine intervention, or universal failsafes, but I would like to believe there's a plan in the world for all of us, and something that we don't understand sometimes intervenes in these things.

I'm not saying this will happen to you if you go to Letchworth. I do believe it happened to us.

All I'm saying about Letchworth is it's well worth the trip.

Nevertheless, if you give whatever you feel this power is a chance to happen and believe in the best, it will come to you wherever you are. 

For those of you with Parkinson's who read this, that might be your cure coming. I'm not betting on that for myself though, but I won't rule out what brilliant minds might be able to do.

Maybe we were meant to play a part in someone else's recovery, life, education, or love. I have no idea what either of us are in this great play that is running on the big stage.

All I know is to work through the bad, and when I can, to enjoy the good with my bestest bestest. Somewhere in the midst of that, great truths will be revealed.

Letchworth is a great place to do that, and Echosmith's "Bright" is a perfect anthem for it.